Tuesday, June 24, 2008 4:40:00 PM
more thing
I realised what you are refering now.. as in asking others not to believe in you. Haha! You know what, we never say that. What for? Do we need to do that? it is seriously a mistake.. I hope you understand. and I don't wanna say much here.. Just, think rationaly.. what's the point if we really do say so? it's such a childish act for me.. and I seriously won't gonna do or say such thing.
I really don't understand, do I offend or displease you? (do tell me if I really did). I know you are very talkative.. But then, something can be say, something cannot simply say. Do know how to define the good and the bad? I know perhaps you don't realise anything..
You can praise someone like your close sister/brother when you are very very friend with the person.. You can also throw shit on that person when there is some unhappy things happen within. (this is what I hear from your speech everyday..I wonder that time, will I be the target of yours..when he/she make or do something wrong. and yea, I guess I already been one of them..) Maybe not in front of the person, but at the back, I suppose.. I'm not gonna say what you say about the others in front of me or in front of someone else.. And I know it won't be hard for me to assume that, you say about me in front of others too.. and again and again, just like how you say others in front of us.
I really don't know.. Do i deserve such comments? Am I that worst in your eye that you judge me that way? alright maybe not judging, but just communicating, chatting, sharing, joking whatever it is.. But do you need to say someone like that? even it is true.. I feel that just shouldn't do so. You can say what you feel and the truth about the person, but not too over. And I seriously don't know how to face you since in your eyes, i'm such a person..but in fact, I never do so. Do you ever see me, asking my bf to pay my shopping stuffs and so on? I do borrow $ from him when I really want to buy something but out of $, But I repay.. I pay back!
I admit, I do say bad things about someone too sometimes. When i'm very very mad at the person..or someone who displease me..Or when it's ok for me to say,and I think of consequences. But in fact, I don't repeat everyday or manytimes. I admit i'm not perfect, I do have lots of bad habits. As long as we are human being, there's impossible to be perfect..But at least, you try to be good. yea~ indeed, we still need to be rational in everything we do, say, and act. I know, is your style, and most of their style.. not to admit, even when something you did is maybe some how wrong, and argue until it's right. Well, don't know lar.. Just hopefully, everything will be fine sooner or later.. and stop making those stories or statements which in fact not true..
And I dont know why you always want to win, especially come to richness. Is it necessary? so what? Make you a higher class??? Famous in hometown..so what? Know alot of gangsters.. so what? I really see no point in those thing you competing.. compete who have more branded goods, compete result (I can accept this).. you are not only putting pressure on yourself, but also on us. Do you really things is good for the friendship? since you said whatever you do is for the best of friendship. I just feel that sometimes your words and your actions..are seriously both different thing. Which to believe? and I don't know why wanna boast.. do we look like those people who become your friend, starting our friendship is because of those things? If you think so, then you are so wrong! I have so many poor friends, so many single parent friends..and LOTS just like me, born in a moderate family. and some of them are rich.. I never choose friends by looking at his or her family background..
We aren't those kind of friends that only enter friendship by looking at your class. We don't mind you telling your background, as in the truth. But.. I suppose that you know how to differentiate boast and the truth. I seriously don't mind you telling me those world you are in.. but sometimes, I can't accept, as in..haiz~ it's just so hard to explain.
I know you are a good friend. And I don't know why everything turn up this way. Well, just hope that after this holidays, and till we meet again.. everything will be as usual. =) I'm sorry that, I say those things out in such a direct way. But indeed I know that, you won't get me if I turn a BIG round, because that is you. your personality and characteristic.. And I know if I talk to you face to face. You won't listen.. just like last time.. you offline when I said something doesn't suit you.. doesn't really convince.. but in fact it's the truth, I know you do agree what I said. But you just don't want to accept.. don't want to admit..