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"You don’t care about me!" "Is this the way of caring a person u really care?" "Because of 'your' doings, i suffer" " i had enough" "do u ever think of my feelings?" "Do u really care?" "What do u want me to do?" "i'm so mad and desperate!" " 1 word of theirs, win 10 words of mine" ...

all those words..all those sentences..keep on pop'ing into mind as usual.
I know i shouldn't b blogging all these here, but keeping all by myself..and yea..i..dont know what can i do..to help myself feel better, or maybe...him...

I have no idea what had i done wrong again...do i really did anything wrong?
Aren’t those questions he asked, suppose to be asked by me?

I don’t care? u can’t feel that i care u said...how sad it is..
From all ur words, one thing i think of is .."How come u don’t even understand me?" as in don’t know me well...am i such person like what u say now? is that what u think about me?

i know exam is 4 days ahead now..Honestly, I’m not prepared, not even close to that. yea..For sure, i wont score good grades at all..
how can i study like b4? how can i fight for my exam like b4? i feel so tired...i really need a break~ a long one...NOW~ pushing myself so hard...acting like nothing happen, acting like i'm totally fine, acting i'm tough, but actually it's not.. i'm tired.. really tired.. how i wish..i can jz vanished.. how i wish.. i can jz b gone..

Shed tears..Every night..every time whenever i think of something..what for? who cares? who knows? who understand?

y shud i turn my life this way? am i d one who choose evthing? y y y and y~ y i drop myself so deeply into the well? and no matter how hard i jump, i still cant move myself out from that..
y shud i suffer all these? y i'm the one? y others can jump out easily but not me? y evthing must b me?!

my doings? wrong? and u gonna pay back? what's all these?! craps! and stil u say u care about me? gosh~ how am i gonna believe?

evtime, u did sth wrong..once n once again i forgive you..once and once again, i try so hard to understand your doings. and stop myself for being selfish and narrow minded, as well as over acting. i tried so hard, to accept all those which used to be unacceptable for me.. n once n once again... all i want is just hoping that u change. but u said to me yesterday.." the old me will never come back!" ... i tried evthing i can, jz wanting u to change for better.. but u jz dont! but turn worse.. Look at the way u talk to me. not in front of others...but when only u and me~

and now...u r telling me that.."the end of our story". Since u r posting on ur msn pm..So i suppose i can mention bout this. Alright then..i'm speechless..i respect ur decision.

and yea..one last thing..there is only one reason for not answering u on call. u used to know me well, but no more for now... those who knows me well, know i wont talk, and i wont answer call once i'm shedding tears... not i dont want to talk, but i can't even talk eventhough i wanted to.. and so...u jz hang up the call jz like that... sorry bout that.. i though u know me well... but in real, u dont..

Well, i think that's all.. Just want to say..i love u dad, i love u mom, i love u sis, bro...GB friends, My angels, sis & bro in Christ, J-D friends, those i know, 38 tong, Viv, Man..my Brisbane tazi friends..Especially those who help me alot.. Giving me support and motivation..

But i would like to give myself a LONG break now...till then..Hopefully..i can still......................